A First Draft is Born

Posted by – March 20, 2009

The first draft for Ghosts With Shit Jobs is here in pdf form. Feel free to give it a read and post comments to the site or email them to me.

The directors and producers are meeting on Sun. Apr. 5th (11-5pm) to brainstorm ways to improve it. Sean will be leading this with an improv-inspired “Yes, And” model. After that the directors will be workshopping some scenes with actors (1-4pm).

Things are firming up, so if there’s a crew role you’d like to try, if you’d like to give input on the script, or know someone who’d like to act, now’s the time to speak up!

Also: we’re having skillshares for anyone who’s interested in learning about editing on Sun. Apr. 19th (Beginner, led by Rose) and Sun. Apr. 26th (Advanced, led by Tate), 1-4pm. Get in touch for final details.

3 Comments on A First Draft is Born

  1. Dave says:

    One thing I liked was the drinking water as currency idea; reminded me of Solarbabies – http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0091981/ – and I believe there was a dystopian dehydration in Tank Girl http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0114614/ as well.

  2. Jonathan says:

    Just read the script, haven’t been following the discussion so my reactions are in all innocence.

    I like the characters, I like the situations, I like the structure and the twist.

    I like the process of reveal and build in terms of building our understanding of the geopolitical situation from vignette to vignette.

    I like the balance of satire and emotional depth, and the unresolved ambiguity of the parental absence theme.

    I am thinking about ways to soften and vary the ‘episodic’ approach to the first half. Intercut? Shorten? Introduce new recurring motifs?

    I’m thinking about innovative creative approaches to the ‘fast motion’ content in Oscar’s sequence.

    I’m thinking about elaborations on the final hip hop lyric that include more internal rhymes and less A-B-A-B.

    Sorry I won’t be able to attend the story meeting on the 5th. Looking forward to seeing how it evolves.

  3. Jim says:

    Thanks guys, good stuff to consider.

    Intercutting the episodes might be interesting. And definitely, the lyrics need much working over — I’ll be working with the actor on future drafts.

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