I was talking about the alley theme with Sean last night and he brought up this guy who gives alley tours, which made me say “Alleyologist”. It rolled really nicely off the tongue, and I’ve been picturing a trailer:
A tall, good looking young man with a doctor’s bag walks through an alley.
He’s peering at small things in the alley very closely, an earnest look on his face.
A close up on his mouth as he speaks into a small dictaphone: “The city… is sick.”
A hipster girl, arms crossed, gently mocks him. “So what — a bit of garbage in an alley makes you panic?”
He responds intensely: “Of course not. Alleys are the lower organs of the urban organism. Garbage, grafitti, all these things are like flora in the lower intestines. They’re natural. It’s something else.”
I’m seeing alleyology as being this slightly arcane practise passed down from his father — they’ve been monitoring, and in some cases treating, the cities they live in for generations (I’m imagining a great great father who was an ex-flâneur in France). He’s slightly out of step with modern life due to his passion and focus, but the girl has a serious crush on him…